Thoughts on RAW 8/15/11

Sorry about the tardiness again. I have a note from my dad this time. Anyway, on with RAW!

RAW 8/15/11

1. Triple H Apologizes??

First we got Triple H saying that Cena and Punk had a great match (and again, they really did) and he wasn’t sure how it would have ended if he hadn’t screwed up. He then went on to say that he’s going to personally apologize to John Cena that night. That’s a swell thing to do. It was nice to see a character like Triple H admit that he made a mistake. I’m not sure what people were thinking when they expected Triple H to act all that differently when he first came back. Something like that takes time to evolve (should it be in the changing process and not remaining the same, that is). Even better, though, is that he stepped out of the way to let the new WWE Champion talk!

2. Alberto Del Rio Is Everyone’s Champion

This wasn’t best promo of all-time, but it was an entertaining one. His facial expressions were classic. He was just downright giddy to finally be the WWE Champion. He even said, essentially, that he wanted to be a champion that everyone could be proud of and even went as far to say that he would be taking pictures for the kids after the show. Needless to say, the crowd didn’t buy it. To explain why Del Rio gets a bit more traction in certain markets, shall we say, is that he acts like a snobby Spaniard. To put it mildly, a market like San Diego would like that much at all and that’s the point. Plus, he’s, you know, a dick. I also have to point out that Del Rio apparently wakes up in the morning and speaks to himself in the third person. That line had me cracking up. Good way to start off as champion.

 3. Falls Count Anywhere: John Morrison d. R-Truth

It felt like this feud ended last Monday, but okay, let’s do this some more. And wait, why does Truth have music? This is not good. Part of what made him different was that he didn’t have music. Take it away, WWE, please. Also, the old 15 second interview window popped up during Morrison’s entrance. That’s something that should have never gone away. It allows the talent to speak for themselves rather than relying on announcers, who seem to rather want to bicker with one another than put any thought into what’s going on (poor JR). Unfortunately, Morrison didn’t deliver a good promo, but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, there was some good stuff to be found here. Truth had a nice gordbuster onto the outside and Morrison did a decent amount of his usual acrobatics, most of which looked pretty cool. I love how Truth will hit a move and yell out, “Take that, Little Jimmy!” and especially how he goes into hyper mode when the crowd starts chanting “Little Jimmy” at him. It’s the minor things in life. The ending saw Morrison suplex Truth into a chair (not unlike the one I’m sitting in now) and delivering a knee for the pin. I liked it.

4. The Miz Hates Jared, but Loves Subway

I have to mention that Miz’s entrance music is growing on me, not unlike the wrestler himself. He’s come a long way since he was messing up his lines during Diva Search competitions. Regardless, Miz came down and told Jared that he sucks at his job as a spokesperson for Subway. Don’t sugarcoat it, Miz, tell us how you really feel. To show Jared up, Miz then cut a promo as if he was auditioning for Subway. A funny moment has  Miz taking a bite out of a sandwich (which he took from Jared, who must have an teleportation device so that he always has sandwiches handy, just for an occasion like this or when he’s hungry…oh, just go along with it) and acting rather shocked that it was good. Plus ringside fans were chanting “Subway sucks!” during this entire bit. I rather agree with that sentiment. The segment was irrelevant as could be, but hey, The Miz entertains me and I’m selfish when it comes to wrestling.

5. Kelly Kelly/Eve d. The Bella Twins

Good lord, is it an unwritten rule that if you’re a WWE Diva, your music must suck? Also, would someone please explain to Kelly that she’s acting very heelish at times? You’re a babyface champion; you should not be holding up your title and doing that catty head movement thing that some women like to do. No, really, check it out at around 1:25:

Do my eyes decieve me or did the faces walk right up to the heels and start talking trash? Why should I be cheering for them again? And no, Punk holding his belt up in Cena’s face doesn’t count because he’s (at least he was until SummerSlam, I suppose) technically a heel that’s getting cheered. Big difference. Anyway, Kelly acting like a bitch aside, this wasn’t all that bad. The Divas have been showing some improvement over the past month or so (though, it could be that they’re actually getting time, too). The Bellas actually worked a body part in the match. Odd concept, I know. Our heroines got the win with a moonsault from Eve. Let’s just say that The Great Muta would not be impressed. Still, I can’t do one, so who am I to talk? Also, Beth and Natalya came out to mockingly clap for the winners. You know, Beth has cool music, actually.

6. CM Punks Owns Kevin Nash

So, Kevin Nash came out next (after a big time ass kissing from ring announcer Justin Roberts, by the way) explaining his dastardly actions at SummerSlam the previous night. The video of what happens next does better than any words I can come up with. You might be wondering why you’re reading this if I can’t describe something in words. Okay, I just want to watch the clip again and, let’s be honest, you probably do, too:

Oh, was Punk in good form yet again or what? From his sister’s text message to saying, “No no no, I’m the guy who shook things up around here,” is there really any doubt who’s the best thing going today? The dynamic with Nash was kind of interesting. It seemed like Nash was playing the grumpy old man to Punk’s young upstart. That works for me. Very good segment.

7. Jack Swagger d. Alex Riley

I don’t even know where to begin. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero were ringside doing commentary. They continued the arguing and snide remarks that began the previous Monday. Unfortunately, Lawler and Cole decided to get in the action, teaming up to verbally harass Dolph and Vickie. It was a total clustercuss, though Dolph got a good line in on Lawler asking why Lawler calls Vickie fat when she’s in better shape than Lawler is. Good point, Dolph. So, amazingly, there was a match going on in the ring and I have no idea if it was any good or not as the announce table was distracting me from it. That’s not exactly how it’s supposed to work. Vickie helped Swagger win somehow (by stealing JR’s hat and putting it on the ref…or something). Swagger got the pin after a Doctorbomb which Riley seemed to completely sandbag. Just a dreadful segment. I don’t see how anyone could have enjoyed any of that. Poor JR. Really. Poor JR. Though JR started getting snarky back at Cole after this, so I’m hoping there’s a “knock it off” meeting coming Cole’s way soon. We can only hope.

8. Swagger Sucks Up (Or Down; He’s Pretty Tall) to Vickie

The All American American suggested that Dolph doesn’t appreciate Vickie for everything that she’s done for Dolph. He also implied that he wouldn’t mind being managed by Vickie. Vickie, for her part, liked getting her ass kissed. I think this is a good idea. Dolph can talk really well whereas Swagger cannot. This is what managers are for, to help wrestlers talk and to help get them over. Dolph is moving past the point of needing Vickie (I would argue that he’s been past this for a little while now). It’s time for her to help someone else along.

9. Backstage Happenings Galore!

I’m putting this all together in one talking point. Early in the show, we saw Triple H enter Cena’s locker room to, presumably, apologize for his mishap the night before. That’s the last we heard/saw of him. After the Punk/Nash segment, we found Nash looking for Triple H only to find John Laurinaitis instead. Johnny Ace would then hear Nash out (Nash was bitching about Punk) and take him away from Triple H’s office. Later on, it was Punk’s turn to enter that office and he would run into Stephanie McMahon, who is slowly becoming the bane of his existence. Got all of that? There are three parts to a puzzle (Cena, Nash, and Punk) that are seemingly being kept away from each other. On the other hand, Triple H was never around to respond to Nash’s statement (though it’s obvious that he will next week). So, really, what the hell is going on? Are both Triple H and Nash lying or telling the truth? Is it what we’re all thinking, that Stephanie sent the text to Nash? Is Triple H in on it? Is Vince behind it all? Find out in the coming weeks of “Days of Our Lives.” All kidding aside, this has me “all-in” in terms of keeping my attention.

Oh, I have to include the video of the Punk/Steph encounter. This really is the only acceptable way to react should you enter a room and tragically find Stephanie McMahon:

10. Non-Title: Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne d. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty (c)

Okay, compare and contrast here. Kofi and Evan had, basically, matching attire and this was their first team-up as frequent tag team, if you’ll allow me to make that assumption. Then there’s the WWE Tag Team Champions who don’t match in any sort of way at all (other than blandness, I guess). What on earth was McGillicutty wearing on the top of his head? A backwards cap? That could not have been his idea. If I didn’t care one bit, I might be upset as opposed to just pointing out this absurdity. I should note that at least he (McGillicutty) was trying to get the crowd angry during the match, but they just did not care. So, Kofi and Bourne (who somehow gets away with doing a peace sign to the crowd like it’s 1992 or something) got the win after Bourne hit the Shooting Star Press on McGillicutty. I really hate saying, thinking, or typing out that name unless “Beulah” comes before it. I wonder how many of you just nodded in agreement there.

I really don’t know what to do with Punk’s former chums (the current Tag Champions). It’s not that they’re terrible; they just don’t connect with anyone. By that, I mean anyone in the world outside of their friends and family (probably). Maybe it’s how awful the actual belts look that’s messing with their mojo. I know rumors state that Triple H is big on bringing tag team wrestling back (yes please!), but I think it’s going to be back to the drawing board with these guys. I do like the Kofi/Bourne tag team, though. They could be fun. And if the rumblings about some of the teams being recruited in the near future, I see good things ahead for them and the currently non-existent WWE tag team division.

11. WWE Championship: Alberto Del Rio d. Rey Mysterio

First off, RICARDO RODRIGUEZ! Okay, now that that’s off my chest, this was a very good match. What’s much more amazing is that it was so good even though Rey was working on basically one leg at the time. Tough little guy. I really disliked the commercial break in the middle of a WORLD TITLE match, but I have since found out that it was there to check on Rey while Del Rio worked the crowd. I understand it now. One thing people complain about is that guys always have to crawl to be in the right spot to take the 619. Notice how Del Rio never had to? I sure did. Anyway, the end came as Rey hit the 619 (which Rey was noticeably limping during), went to the top for his splash, but Del Rio got his knees up and rolled up Rey for the win. Again, very good match all things considered and important to establish Del Rio as a legitimate champion.

12. Oh Damn, I Forgot About Cena

After getting the clean pinfall, Del Rio wasn’t quite finished yet as he got the armbar on Rey and wouldn’t let go (effectively writing Rey off TV for a while). And out came Cena. The pop he got is getting exaggerated by some. It was a pretty good one; one with the same frequency of a Justin Bieber concert (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He was saving the hometown guy from utter disaster, after all. And then he started talking (roughly 2:40):

Damn, John, why so serious? Did any of that make any sense to any of you? Earlier Punk (you know, the guy who was actually cashed in on) said he wasn’t angry at Del Rio, yet Cena is? Cena called Del Rio a scumbag for cashing in a briefcase on someone who was already spent, yet where was this code of ethics when Cena beat Rey Mysterio for the “WWE title” the same night Rey won it? Cena said that Del Rio wasn’t a champion. He said this while the vanquished (again, cleanly; post-match antics aside) Rey lay on the floor on the outside. According to Cena, the belt makes anyone a target. So, Cena wants to be a target? I’m not the first to point this out (or much of this paragraph for that matter), but is the WWE title John Cena’s equivalent to Gollum’s Precious? That would be an interesting route to go down during as time goes on. And let’s add one more “Cena” to a paragraph full of them. Cena. And Cena. Cena.

13. Final Thoughts

A kinda hit and miss show, but overall a good one. Del Rio as champion can be very good if they allow him time with the belt and I really hope they do. The only thing that was completely atrocious was the Swagger/Riley segment. That was just bad all around. Something really needs to be done about the commentating. I have to think that JR is thinking, “They brought me back for this?” and I wouldn’t blame him one bit.

The show was (and will continue to be) revolving around the Punk vs. Whoever storyline and that’s going to be a good thing. His segment with Nash was awesome. Sorry, Miz, but it was. We didn’t get much for answers on this show, but that’s okay. We need to let this storyline play out. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long (and hopefully good) one. I have no idea where they’re going with it or who they may or may not bring in to be apart of it. As I’ve said before, I like that a lot.

Kinda sad to see Rey go down as it was rumored that there were big plans in store for him, but he gave a great effort here. It’s good that he’s going to go get healthy, of course. Besides, there’s going to be that big Rey/Sin Cara (more on him during my Smackdown write up this weekend) match at next year’s Wrestlemania, right?

But seriously, who crapped in John Cena’s Fruity Pebbles?

All pictures and videos courtesy of WWE, WWE.com, WWEFanNation (youtube) or otherwise stated on individual media items; it is much appreciated.

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